Feminist Erotica?

Feminist erotica. An oxymoron? Not necessarily. The general idea behind feminism is that women and men are equals. Unfortunately, in our society, men are allowed to be sexual yet women are not. We are taught to be ashamed of our bodies and called names if we embrace our sexuality. In the name of feminism, I urge you to stand for your rights. Embrace your sexuality. Be proud of your bodies, no matter what the shape. Don’t listen to the media. They prey on women, making us feel insecure about everything from our physical looks to our sexuality.

You would be very shocked to discover that this erotica author is pretty conservative. Yet I have embraced my sexuality. I enjoy sex. Often. I have multiple orgasms 99% of the time. If you label me a slut or a whore, you’re about to be shamed. The only partner I ever had is my husband. Frankly, for me, it’s incredibly arousing to know that he is the only one that’s ever touched me intimately. It didn’t matter to  him at first but now I think it’s arousing for him as well.

Embracing our sexuality means discovering the things that arouse us. Are you visual? Do you like to watch? Or do you prefer to use your imagination and read? Do you prefer vanilla sex or are you more curious about taboo subjects?

Given the popularity of the 50 Shades series, it seems that a lot of women are now interested in the BDSM lifestyle. I applaud sexual curiosity, but I caution, the fantasy is sometimes better than reality. A long time ago, I asked my then boyfriend to engage in a little light bondage. The moment my hands were bound, I began to think: What have I done? I’m completely helpless and at his mercy. He could kill me or rape me. What if he wants to try something sexual I’m not ready for? I’m not exactly in a position to say no. After about thirty seconds of panic, I asked him to untie me. I was so relieved when he did. I learned a few things about myself. One, I was very naïve. I also realized that it’s ok to satisfy sexual curiosity but only with someone you trust. Obviously, at that particular moment, I didn’t trust him fully.

In my journey to discovering and embracing my sexuality, I discovered erotica. There are so many subgenres, I’m sure there is something for everyone. Almost a decade later, I am writing erotica and I would classify it as feminist erotica because my females are strong women who stand up for themselves. Some might be more submissive than others, but they are not doormats. My main characters treat each other with respect, even if one is more dominant than the other.

In  my newest novella, Isabella’s Dilemma, Isabella faces a choice that most women eventually face: housewife or career?

Isabella is a Soldier. In her culture, this is simply not done. Her father expects her to be a housewife. Incidentally, her soul mate has the same expectations. Izzy has to decide which is more important: being a “good” mate and give up her career to raise (future) children or sacrifice her love life so she can focus on her career. She faces an extreme choice.

Real women make these choices with varying degrees of compromise. Some women stay at home and once their children are old enough, they return to work. Some chose to be a “housewife” permanently while others remain childless and focus solely on their careers, like Oprah.

The wonderful thing about feminism is that we have a choice. We can choose to be full time or part time house wives. We can also choose not to be a housewife. The choice is entirely ours. So embrace your sexuality and read an erotic novella. I hope you will check out Isabella’s Dilemma and see if she made the right choice for her.

~Diana

My novellas are found on Amazon, BN, Smashwords, KOBO, Apple and other Smashwords Affiliates.

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